Civil Anti-Fans: What To Do When You've Had ENOUGH?
Please note: I'm speaking to the civil anti-fans, because just as not every fan is civil, neither is every anti.If you are a reasonable and otherwise polite person (even towards fans), and the core of your decision to become an SNSD anti is not cemented in petty reasons such as mere jealousy, this definitely means you.
I am not addressing the childish brand of antis who behave no better than the most immature of SNSD fans, purposely seeking out fan boards and videos to comment on in order to trash SNSD and their fans. You can't complain if you're actively starting trouble.
Nope, not accusing anyone here of anything, but just want to make it clear who my target audience is.
First, let's state the obvious...
It's not easy being a civil anti-fan. Mostly because a lot of people do not bother to distinguish us from the more violent and vicious anti-fans out there. In their minds, we are all "antis", so therefore we MUST all be alike.
"Bothersome" doesn't even begin to cover it, especially in terms of confrontation.
Often, a civil anti-fan is so because of actual reasoning and logic. They do not have interests in going around harassing anyone, preferring to reserve their feelings and discussion for appropriate places, or to consolidate information and facts, if only so they can better arm themselves should they be drawn into a debate with a fan.
A civil anti-fan generally is not of the aggressive, immature, and/or venomous variety.
It's hard, very hard, to be considered "civil" if you're the type of anti who looks for fan forums and gatherings in order to make your feelings known in any way you can, even when it's not necessary.
A civil anti-fan is nothing if not polite.
Still, even the nicest anti can have enough...
We're only human. We all get mad, really really mad, and want to kick things. We can be driven to distraction, especially in regards to something or someone we just don't like. Totally normal.
So, just because you are a civil anti-fan does not mean that arguing with some persistent fangirls or fanboys over something as ludicrous as a parody anti video (that the subject(s) probably will never even see themselves) won't raise your blood pressure.
Because it IS annoying. You're not looking for trouble. You're minding your own business. Most times you keep to yourself unless otherwise engaged. Why should you have to suffer fools?
Why? Because, you're an anti, that's why.
Unless the stars re-align themselves and crazy fans are hypnotized into finding more fruitful ways of spending their times, you will be hassled for as long as you are an anti-fan. How deep you actually find yourself in the anti-fandom usually determines how much venom you get hurled your way. If a STAND member, for example, expect loads dumped on you by default for your association with this fine forum.
Even if you keep your activities limited to addressing other anti-fans, even if you NEVER go to the places where there are likely to be fans, and even if you've never wished death on the people you dislike, there is a group of fans who have it in their heads that your very existence is evil. And I'm not kidding; I recall someone being asked if they were Satan because they are an SNSD anti. :/
This group of fans thinks that the best way to spend their time as a fan is in pursuit of those who are not: Stalking anti-fan forums, leaving mean comments on anti-fan vids (even those created for fun and NOT spite), and writing long hurtful messages on pages belonging to anti-fans.
This is a curious group because they never attribute their own actions to the creation and further dedication of antis. They never once consider that if they bothered to "kill em' with kindness" they could do more damage to the anti cause (in terms of people being motivated to antis at all) than by acting like bullies and stalkers.
However curious, so long as said group exists, even otherwise civil antis will get caught in the cross-fire.
So then, what's a pissed off civil anti to do?
1.) GET AWAY FROM THE THING OR PERSON THAT'S MAKING YOU MAD. If it's on-line, close the browser window. If that's not enough, turn off the computer and move away from the desk. If you are in a real-life confrontation, walk away. Ignore any accusations of cowardice and "That's what I thought!"; move away from the person, shut down and do not respond.
2.) Try and calm down. Take deep breaths, count to ten (or a hundred). Make a glass of tea or cocoa, or even take a hot bubble bath. Whatever it takes to calm yourself. If you absolutely have to get your anger out, scream into a pillow, or imagine said pillow is the source of your anger...and drop-kick it. Or go cry. It's okay to cry, crying is an important way the body relieves stress after all, so let it out.
3.) Medicate. If you find that you have a headache, you may want to take aspirin or Advil for it. Note, you may have to carefully consider this option if you have any allergies, have ingested any alcohol, or have been otherwise instructed by a medical professional not to take certain medicines for whatever reason.
4.)Think it over. Is the person or subject worth the fuss? Will you gain anything by replying? Will you lose anything of value by removing yourself from the situation? Is anything that's been said against or about you actually true? If not, is it worth getting angry about?
Just some things to consider when mulling over whether or not to even re-approach the situation.
If after weighing everything you find that what caused you to reach your boiling point genuinely was not worth the trouble, it may be best to simply consider the matter closed and move on.
5.)Getting back to a civil mindset is probably hardest after stupid and hurtful confrontations. You'll probably be muttering about "stupid fangirls" for a bit and ready to lay into the very next fan that dares open his or her mouth to you. And that's understandable. But if you're not careful, you may find yourself sinking to a less than civil point of view, ready to take less than civil actions. But is it worth it; being unapologetically rude and stooping to the level of those that upset you in the first place? Aren't you better than that?
Common courtesy is never easy when confronted with out and out rudeness, but often, being able to give it when others cannot exposes their weakness and reveals your strength.
6.) Going back to the site of the drama...may not be a wise idea, however if you find that you are in a situation where you CANNOT remove yourself from what is aggravating you, try and keep yourself in a neutral mindset. After all, it may not be you that the person is insulting, but your anti-status. It's like being a cop: Bill the Cop often hears all kinds of insults, but those insults are not hurled at Bill, they are hurled at Bill the Cop. Understand?
Or, if someone you know is attempting to push your buttons, don't let them. Ignore them completely. Just because you're there doesn't mean you're obligated to give the person or persons what they want. That's empowering and amusing them, and why should you that? Your anti-status is your own business, and no one else's, regardless of how well they know you.
Too late for any of this, I've flown off the handle.
So you cursed out a group of fangirls or screamed at your sister for insisting you have a secret crush on Yoona. You've already given into your anger and now you feel bad because reason and logic weren't enough.
What do you do now?
Accept it and move on. If an apology is warranted, give it. If you feel you are owed an apology, don't hold your breath waiting for one, because it may never come. In any case, people get mad all the time. The important thing is to make up your mind to be a more determined civil anti, and remember to step away from a situation if you think it's going to lead you losing you temper.
Some great advice from your fellow civil anti-fans
If it's okay, I'm going to add some additional advice in quotes to the article. :)
Bento_box wrote:Another wise tidbit is to avoid comment sections on SNSD articles. It really does make me wonder why some people go there and get angry at some "positive" comments.
SUJUB wrote:Open up an empty word document (or use notepad), type my reply, and then delete the document.
Sometimes we just need to get things down in writing to feel better, by doing it this way we 1. don't waste paper, 2. rant all we want, 3. don't have to deal with replies from them which leads to anger, annoyance, and frustration.
Last edited by Labakittie on Mon 22 Jun 2009, 4:48 pm; edited 2 times in total
